THE GRANDMOTHER OF ALL BLONDE JOKES..LOL

The Grandmother of all Blonde Jokes

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these Blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So, she Decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.

He notices that she is wearing a heavyParka and a leather jacket at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes.
He asks what she is doing and she replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb, and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said...


You'll love this... I know you will........






"FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS."

BREAST CANCER WALK......

I do some volunteer work (besides the food bank) for The Making Strides Against Breast Cancer every year about this time with a bunch of people from work....Well every year My work also does a great fund raiser for UPAF (united performing arts) they have a huge spaghetti dinner.....raffles.....and an action...for some pretty niffty stuff....and we try NOT to infringe upon their fundraising efforts we usually wait till that event and their fund raising is done before we start.....but they are kind enough to let us have a table for us at the dinner...which I really enjoy doing....because I get to see a bunch of the retiree's that retired years ago or quit for better things.....anyway.....the last 2 years they stuck me in a bad spot...this year was the worst ever...not many people were even looking..at the table I had set up.....they were either in a hurry to get their ticket to eat ot in a hurry to go to the clock tower....I work in a building that has the biggest 4 faced clock in the world....I do have pics I just need them put on a disk...(from pre comptuer days)...lol. I miss alot of stuff too...I see the The Glenn Castle Irish dancers come down the stairs...and go back up when their show is done...... and they have people who perform for the performing arts there too entertaining the crowds..it's kinda neat....best thing tho...they have the big-wigs serving up the dinner!!! lol......last year I hoollered at the president of the company and the vice president....hey let's see some smiles over there....lol

But I still had a great time.....any one interested in making a donation?....lol

FLOWER UPDATES...

These were prolly open earlier when the sun was shining on them....I got home late so I didn't make it....I know sad hey...lol.....

tulips are getting bigger....no sign of a bud yet tho.......

this is a cool shot huh?? I thought so...lol these were all taken today at 5 :30pm...or around there sometime...lol

They all look like they need a bit of a drink but it got cold again and there might be a frost tonight...so no water...lol

Went to pay my property taxes today....WOOO HOOO on my to city hall.....have to take my camera next time I go......there were 2...count em.....2 weirdos on the bus...go figure huh? One was "fond of blonds" so when a pretty blond got on the bus he asked you wanna sit right here...seat next to him had his coat on it...in between that he was singing BAHBAH-LOOOOOO BAHBAH-LOOO ILOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU...BOOM BOOM BOOM.... or something to that affect....meanwhile .........across the aisle.......nut #2....I'M JUST NOT HAPPY......MOST PEOPLE ARE HAPPY I THINK IT'S THIS CRAPPY WEATHER....THIS WEATHER IS JUST......(talking to everyone and no one in particular) BAHBAH-LOOOOOOO BAHBAH-LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU....SHE GETTING ON THE BUS!? WANNA SIT HERE.............SOME PEOPLE ARE HAPPY....I'M JUST NOT.......and on and on it went.......and on the way HOME some poor girl got yelled at by some jackass......WHY ARE YOU SITTING BY ME IF YOU HAVE ROOM?!

I'm thinking...dang you don't want people near you get the f*** off the bus...the bus is NO place for you if you don't want people near you....sheesh

have a great night...

I GOTS BLOOMS!!!!!

Here they are..prolly were all the way open yesterday.....(these were taken Tuesday) Wasn't home yesterday....to see nd today it's just to dang cold...lol and I'm in jammies already..lol.

not much has been happening here so I will keep it short..lol

MORE FLOWER UPDATES...AREN'T YOU EXCITED...LOL

I think these are my lost daffodils...lol....and crocus's

see the blooms!!!!!!! I'm excited!!!

These are my bleeding hearts

my bleeding hearts before I cleaned last years bleeding hearts...lol

This is my icky backyard...lol.....not much into gardening,as you can see...There is a Purple leaf sand cherry on the other side if the yard when that blooms I will have to get pics of it it is gorgeous!!!

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE....

Subject: How To Call The Police....

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE. George Phillips , an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi,was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.
George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.
Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available.." George said, "Okay."
He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.. "Hello,I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed..
Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both, the dogs are eating them right now." and he hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed. One of the Policemen said to George , "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!" (True Story) I LOVE IT!

Don't mess with old people.

Live well, laugh often, love much!!!

FINALLY A TULIP UPDATE..

No..this is NOT a tulip...lol...blogger didn't put my pics in the order I wanted them in...lol...that's my messy front room...lol

lol..these are my crocus's (and weeds...lol)......tilt your head to the right...lol dunno how that happens.....

Here are my tulips......hope we don't get to much snow Saturday........HAPPY SPRING!!!!

BAD WEEK...GRRRRRRRRRR

I was going to put new tulip pics on here but for some reason blogger or something would not let me..so I'm going to complain instead...



I miss..."real" denim.........you know...so stiff you could stand your jeans up in a corner?...now...what do they have pre-washed..or worse yet....s t r e t c h denim...the worse. I hate stretch denim...its the "fat" people stuff tho I guess...grrrrr.


Courteous clean people......Since I have been working in the warehouse I have been using a different ladies room.....I think mostly office people use this particular restroom...I have noticed some people DO NOT FLUSH THE TOILET (!?) Are you kidding me?! After job one or job two...flush the fricken thing...takes 2 seconds,,,sheesh Wonder if they do that at home too....EWWWWWWWWW.

and........ladies AND gentlemen...EASE UP ON THE COLOGNE!!!! Try taking a bath instead. Nothing worse than getting into an elevator...alone and almost getting asphyxiated because some putz..who does not no the meaning of "moderation" .....and sorry more times then not it's a man...and if someone else gets on after you do..and looks at you like ease up on the cologne.......

inconsiderate co-workers (self explanatory for those who work or have worked)

inconsidertate people in general......

beautifull weather for the past few days...64 degrees today...guess what? SNOW on Saturday....*&^%%^%$$$#%^&*(()_)_+(&^&%#&#%#@@@@#^&*

AND..they are doing something on our street...tearing up the WHOLE street....putting in new piping for something.....and guess what is parked in front of MY house? Go ahead guess.....the PORT-A-POTTY!!! ~sigh~ Well a few years ago they didi some road work up the street a bit...and there was no port-a-potty..and one of the guys wee'd right in the shovel of the digger thingy..... EWWWWWWWW (saw that myself) *&^%%^%&*

hope it gets better.....have a good one all

WHAT A GREAT WEEKEND!

Can you believe this!?SPRING has sprung!!! I think these are tulips.....I was hoping for some crocuses but I think the squirrels got them... These ones below I know are tulips...pink ones come every year..they are decndants of the ones my Dad planted mabye 30 years ago.....I have been wanting to dig them up and get some new top soil put in the space where they are but..with my luck they would not grow back...lol So best to let them be I guess...lol

I took this weekend off...did nothing yesterday..and I mean nothing.......watched tv....and took a nap..lmaooo. and then went to bed...lol.

got a dental apointment Monday morning 7:30am! (get it done early...my motto)
Well ot much on my end hope you have a great week!

COMMON SENSE

An Obituary printed in the London Times -
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend,Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: -
Knowing when to come in out of the rain;-
Why the early bird gets the worm; -
Life isn't always fair; - and maybe it was my fault..
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers:
I Know My Rights.
I Want It Now.
Someone Else Is To Blame.
I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone..
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT I SAW.....

You all know I do not drive so I ride the bus....the other day on the way to work I saw a young lady with...you will never guess....she had her (upper) gums pierced!! Of all things...lol I had to check it out ...without looking like I was staring...lol...but you know the rings with the little balls on them..like for a belly-button....well it was right over her two front teeth..at first I thought it was her inner upper lip that was pierced..but it didn't move when she talked (she was talking to a friend)......who on earth thought about piercing your gums?? Well whatever I thought it was strange...but I guess it's just because I'm....old-ish...lol.

It's been a nice week weather wise.....upper thirties...SUNSHINE!!!! whoooo hooooo! nice to see the sun. I have to work again Saturday 6hrs.prolly doing something useless and boring but,,I'll do it..time and a half ya know...
Well I must go expecting a friend to come over Brother #1 sent me a card reader so I can see him play his guitar and stuff..... and his friend is coming over with the card...lol
have a great evening!! and a great weekend!!

FOUR WORMS AND A LESSON TO BE LEARNED

Four Worms and a Lesson to be learned


A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars....
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol - Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead
The Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead
Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation What did you learn from this demonstration?
Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,
As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!'
That pretty much ended the service

OK..SO IT'S BEEN A WHILE....

Well...it'd been a while since I wrote anything here so I figured I'd stop by to say hi...lol.... HI!!!
I am still pooped at the end of the day...I had to put a skid of parts away the other day that just had me scratching my head...we use alot of our own products so we get alot of our shipments from the "CDC' as we call it...central distribution center or what ever well anyway...I got a skid in with 2 different parts on it.......240 of one part and 72 of another part...guess where the 72 pcs were?...Go ahead guess......if you said the bottom.....you'd be WRONG...........If you said the top...where I would have liked them to be.....you would also be WRONG........they were in the middle.......how they wound up in the middle is BEYOND my comprehension...but..any way......the one remaining group leader ~cough~ is making me crazy..I also supply him with parts...can't have his people make him a list at the last bit of the day so he can order all the stuff all at once ( like ...well I won't say it...I do like the guy as a friend) So ALL day he runs in orders for me.......because you know I got nothin else to do all day....as Jim trucks in more parts.....well any way...still scheduled to be moved out of this plant by mid April...so I will be unemployed sheesh .
have great night.